Have you heard of "second wife" syndrome? That is when you don't really love the person but you want to feel close to them and tag along on that young man's relational journey for it's entire duration. You try to get as close as you can and maybe you might even hope to have a liaison that is quite unadvisable in the end. You ask what is he going to do when his wife sniffs your eau "duh!" toilette on his year 2056 egg marketing uniform and you will ultimately leave when the opportunity of being the wife has come. You go and find another family on which you can sit as a subconscious antichrist and play the parasite. You resent the family unit as it is quite evident in the end. You did not forgive your full time father for failing to show up at a ballet presentation while he was out of town on an emergency call due to that egg truck spill disaster. Please forgive. When you grew up, you got the emotions right and you wiggle in to get a father's attention( a father in another woman's family) but you just need to believe you can have that man of your own with whom you can get the emotions and the commitment right although stolen waters are sweet(google that); innit? Your father was not cheating on you and nor did he break a commitment to you as there was another ballet or piano recital a few months later but he was working(his commitment to you) so that you could be so refined and forgiving in the end(like right now today!) but most importantly thankful. You shouldn't have vowed to never have children when he did not show up or to never have a family. The girl next to you on the escalator was in a single parent home and asked God for a husband and children. Her husband is the man with whom you cheated; innit? It is rather sad really. It is just not on.