The experience of being dropped is quite tremendous. It could be
that someone showed you a great deal of acceptance early(5-10 years old) as a
Fair or Circus performer or employee. You were the most stimulated young man or
woman in the town but they let go right away with a failure in commitment. In
the alternative, you were accepted on a special rep baseball team for the
entire summer but then dropped because someone else was truly related to the
team mother.
You were used for photos in a special 16-95 year old talent show but you weren't really old enough but then had your photos rejected for that reason. In either case, you had the experience of being loved and dropped summarily. You felt used evidently and noticed 35 years later on in life that you would choose to be with or love someone but would let them go for no reason. You would pick them up again passionately and beg them to come back and then let them go for your own confessed lack of a good reason but you would do your best to create one to justify your apparent formal education or formal ignorance. You eventually confessed that it was due to breakdowns; sometimes occasioned by self-rejection due to weight issues or due to pms as claimed. You are not alone in this habit of irresponsibility and a few magazines like Moons and Cosmo were started on the eve of the first issue of Playboy to make sure you could excuse your new home industry when the postman might ring twice. You would do this over and over again in several relationships claiming that you were afraid of being used for something like your sexy milk cow imitations (or used for a hug or a kiss; maybe something more)and then you finally went through all the available men in the world( some of them you created by flirting with them so that they would leave their wives or cause their wives to leave for your flirting). If you could get to the last man on the planet after 30 years of your cycle, you would realize that you were using yourself for sex( while they wanted a genuine relationship) and failing to forgive the first person who caused you to feel accepted and then dropped; dropped and discounted. Ironically, you find the discounts in the stores like a ferret. You value discarded items found on the ground or in flea markets. You keep finding them and you pick them up. You give the deals away eventually and then you find more but hopefully in the end, you have found yourself , will forgive hopefully that little league coach or photo studio manager who did not keep your photos for use in the long term since you were really too young and it was inappropriate and you would never understand. But, its time to heal though. You just left the one man you have called back 80 times (his name starts with an R or a C) after breaking up and he only stayed because you would show genuine signs of desire to heal and be free with copious amounts of basil and other supposedly relieving herbs but now you are just being abusive. You thought the bible was about a freedom from difficulty but only people on a journey some where need to face a red sea with angry people chasing them with weapons and intent to kill. But, you are not here to support on such journeys and tend to scatter. But, you beg people to help you as you seek to overcome your addiction to yourself as expressed in substance abuse and other more tactile addictions when your boyfriend or girlfriend is not around. You need to heal and take time with the next one to finally commit to growing, healing and forgiving the little league manager who sowed the experience of being dropped and discounted. In the Lord, you are now healed from being dropped and discounted. Let that man go because he has seen you as you requested. Read Romans 8.
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