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Monday 30 December 2013

The need for intimacy is not the issue.

The need for intimacy is not the issue. But, if your fear of rejection was occasioned by a negative formative experience with members of the opposite gender you may find it difficult to allow yourself to relax long enough to enjoy the growth and dynamics to be experienced in any close and faithful friendship.  1st Corinthians 13 is the program for any relationship. The need for touch and intimacy is not the issue and remains in spite of your fear of rejection and also the issues with trust.  Your fear of rejection as occasioned by early formative experiences and the barrage of negative mass media messages may lead you to refuse to accept that the issue is not with the opposite gender entirely but the need to forgive the person who may have sown so many negative notions of the opposite gender into your psyche; turning you to think that a further effort with another is futile. It will be futile if you do not forgive. It will be futile if you bring the same anger into the next relationship with a member of the opposite gender. You find that you have not constructed against your own gender the presumptions and negative associations that you hold about men; negative presumptions and associations that you will find in various media outlets with editors who share your anger and issue with trust. Misery loves company.  All men are not dogs but if everyone you speak to suggests it and the magazine you read suggests that they should be used only and not treated as friends and partners, you will write off the entire notion of a man as a friend and partner, dis-enabling your ability to relax and enjoy any relationship with a man. All men could not be dogs since you must have a school teacher, pastor, maybe an uncle who was genuine. Maybe you have a nephew or son. Forgive the past hurt and open your mind again. But, without forgiveness it will be impossible. You must want to see a certain hope for your children.  Jesus only is perfect in his walk and ministry as he perfectly relied on and received the Holy Ghost.

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