The truth is that Paradise Lost is a metaphor that teaches one profound lesson about the unpardonable sin. The only way to commit it is to deny God's power to do anything. The devil committed this sin as depicted in the story by John Milton in that the devil was offered God's grace and forgiveness but the devil said "...how could you forgive me(?) You can't. You can't do it." In this permanent and eternal rejection of God's grace and forgiveness, the devil is the devil and decidedly separate from God and in the denial of His role, power and sovereignty. It was an eternal direction in decision to be separate and independent of the warmth of God and His( "His" recognises the duality of God's gender import as seen in the Shekinah glory referred to as the feminine heart of God) love. The devil was the first person to declare an unGodly jealousy. Eve was the second person and Cain was the third such person. Jehovah expresses jealousy in that He covets the soul He has created but not to control the soul or manipulate the soul but to mold the direction (Romans 8) of the soul for the soul's ultimate betterment and with no ulterior motive inspired by a selfish gratification of one's personal fantasy for one's personal pleasure. The story of Balaam is a good example in addition to the story of Paul the apostle. Balaam is much like Simon in Acts 8 while Paul decided, evidently, to be a disciple. The question is not if you will sin. You will; even in the slightest thought or attitudes. God sees and knows when you are sleeping( Santa Claus has to be God's agent. He is Saint Nicholas) and lusting after the woman in the Carl's Junior ads. It's hard to be perfect and no one is except the fool who tries to convince everyone that he or she is perfect or always right while everyone else is not. That has to be the devil's agent. The answer to an honest mistake before the Lord's supper is honest repentance and acceptance of forgiveness. A preacher once said, "... God already forgave you and made provision( 1st John 1: 9) but the worse thing to do is to refuse it by refusing to forgive yourself. With full speed, go the other way and forgive yourself." The truth is that you may have denied a scholarship because you thought someone called you and told you not to go back to school while you wait for another telephone call confirming a professional sports contract. Well, the sport team saved themselves form hiring a dummy. You need to go back to school and forgive yourself. You are now old enough to say )(*&(*& it and get shot for robbing a bank. So, if you can't get back into the same school for the scholarship, be thankful driving a hybrid 89 mpg BMW as a fast food chain crew chief, save some money, buy a house, try out for the same sports team or apply to another school to be a doctor. You have choices. Make sure you sit at the altar sometimes and feel the same grace you felt in the womb where you could do no more wrong than any other fetus just existing and God told you so. He will tell you again even if you are about to write your first resume after graduation. The person who called was one of your favorite cousin's or your Aunt's sex partners and she has a masters to teach 4 year olds. She felt rejected when another cousin told her to read her bible and to go to youth group. She spent a lot of her education sucking lollies down near Morden. Now, judge yourself.