I read Proverbs 2, 5,6, and 7 and heard a Pastor preach on this. The real question that everyone asked the Pastor is "...how to stay together with your wife for 80+ years or until death do you part?" He said that there are times of growth and change. it is not that you do not really love each other at 44 but she knows when you are thankful and you could bore her to death by saying thank you for her putting your lunch in your car as she could anticipate you would forget this morning only because your son Johnny was asked to come back home. You said "..We're sorry" and asked "what is life?" With that family distraction, Johnny took precedence over your Chicken Tika lunch box. To make it work at 44, go back to the beginning. You've been together for more than 20 years. Ask her about her favourite flower again because it might have changed. Cook together and recognise that any energy you need to uh release is the same any where and with anyone so join a dojo maybe and do not think it trivial. The goal is not variety as your father may have told you but happiness with the one woman that will take time to think of you or the "us". Forgive any trespasses because you are only guaranteed the same fork in the road somewhere else with the lady who rubs your hand at the coffee shop when you rush in to get two medium uh dark roasts for you and your wife. Start over. She might have something to tell you about herself and the "us". It has something to do with the fact that her father had an unusual native value system from cultures south of Cuba; unusual in that it is anachronistic as most people people have instant coffee like Nescafe in the cupboard these days. In his culture, a father will usually test a son's manhood by taking any betrothed woman( a ring, date or church attendance for more than three weeks in a row). This involves the father putting his saliva in her fridge. When the relationship is weak, he shows up to say that he thinks he is the woman's father. Usually, he will play on this doubt, her anger toward her own father and have relations with her. The "culture" involving both men and women also suggests that the son should respond in some way that confirms the culture's blood lust. If he is inspired by other values such as Judeo-Christian values, the son will respond by saying God himself, the local firefighters or this father who suffers from an inability to appreciate the cost and shame of his three divorces did the son a favor. The son does not need a dyslexic wife who does not know she is a child of God. They will usually test their daughter's womanhood in a similar fashion. The notion of manhood and womanhood is cultural-specific and is based on a devaluing and separation of bloodlines. After a few generations of that type of inter-relating and all the secrets while proffering public Personas to hide private shame, usually in church environments, nobody really knows who their father is. Don't get your friend from the Japanese hand-shake club wrong. Church attendance gives you a free lecture, encouragement and pep talk and there is nothing wrong with polishing your shoes. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter so long as you believe God is your father. Take it easy and read Romans 8. After all this time, someone thought they put a drug for women in the water supply that causes insecurity, hence this new dependence on cell phones and "gps"ing the husband's movements with google earth(right?). But the truth is that it has something to do with what your father did last night. The son does not know anything about this hedonism but will be quick to say thank you to his parents for the boxed lunches with the cheese snacks, the Aunt Jemima pancakes and the Rice a Roni at dinner time; So fun! The neighbour who let your son know about all of this Anthropology is a Chinese African and drives a cylinder Dutch or German hybrid. You used it and sold it right away since you were afraid unreasonably that the "culture" would not approve but your neighbour appreciated it. You son agrees with the time and energy that is employed with a little appreciation.