You want someone to be a friend. But, are you a friend to that person? You just told your wife(ex) or your husband(ex) that you don't love them but you want them to be your friend. Think about your past. Where did this begin? Is your behaviour more indicative of your need to get over a fundamental, formative rejection? You must also realise that they don't need you because the ex never called you back. You are harassing them; especially as you are not sincere. Why not just be sincere or are you always wanting to feel powerful by having secrets and feel as if you got away with it but you could not handle being with someone who treats you in the way you treat others? You might need to just believe in the concept of friendship as it relates to any intimate relationship. They (relationships) should not be power struggles or ego tussles. You could be too ill or old at your age to recognise your need for Jesus as a mighty counsellor. But, you want to teach others. You weren't there when they were born but you may have heard them sing in the choir quite harmoniously. You thought they had a musical gift. You heard them play the piano. You thought they had a musical gift. You saw them win red ribbons at the first track meet you and your children ever attended in Wisconsin or Chicago. You noticed they had an athletic gift. You read one of their childhood book reviews or article review projects on the Crimean War completed in Grade 7 and also observed the art project where they drew a can of Campbell soup in Grade 7. They also drew a picture of a Volkswagen emblem in Grade 7 but they decided not to be an architect which was your thought. That's ok. God made him and his gifts. He did not know you as an influence until he was 2 months old and then you left. When he met you again, he was two and a half and he could not remember you. It's just that children at that age do not read magazines or study faces to know who is Granddad or Uncle apart from the father; that is who you are. Good! It's just that there is a "knowing" and a familiarity and a development of relationship that a child will enjoy. You might have to give him a few five cent gums for him to recognise you as someone you would expect to run to you and show you a fond greeting. In spite of your expectations of how your puppy should behave, it may not know its owner without a treat. Most puppies will go home with the person that shows some interest on a moment by moment basis or the one that lays down the treats. Your child is not a puppy but if you went away for some time, you will have to recognise that the truth is, you will need to redevelop some knowing in that child's mind and a five cent gum would help. That's ok. Forgive yourself because he had lots of soccer coaches to say don't quit and some school teachers who said, don't worry about it. You are a good little puppy and you jump really far as well; like 6 metres 90 cm in grade 11. That might have been unofficial. But that's ok because you knew God loves you from about a week after you turned 14 and if you need to forgive someone so that you can love the work you produce or the many children who say you feel like you don't know who you are, that's ok. God loves them and knew them in their mother's womb; remember? Google the part about being known in your mother's womb. It's just that whatever you think you went through may have been the same thing as some other really smart man who got a scholarship and who knows what life may have been like if you stayed on the big farm with your grandmother and not the tiny farm with your father's family. But, that's ok. You can blame your two and half year old son for not knowing you but at least you were consistent; consistent in not knowing who you are and certainly feeling like it. You have to see that they are not crying over you and you might even get a t-shirt from his wedding with the big toothy smile on the back and a note that says "God makes all things good" because God does.
Now his wife or the family that intends to have their daughter marry him may not like how he feels eating Fruit Loops with milk. They may be so determined to have him "feel" the way they would like; that is like a man who might just have black coffee and bread. Well, if he is going to be a good husband his diet is the least of your concerns at this stage because he might not even know your feeling on the issue. He was too busy minding his own business. This is a reprisal from a story that actually happened in the Mediterranean and the Himalayas a long long time ago. The family would go to the house of the potential suitor and leave gifts and take food off his shelf that made their daughter uncomfortable. If you don't leave gifts, then there is no point. You might as well, tell your daughter to marry an android. In other cultures, they give dowries which is a sure-fire way of getting the young man's attention. Now, you think your daughter is worth all this hard work but you were not there when he( the potential suitor) was born and he might think she is butt ugly although she is your little idol and angel so I suggest you remember that your idea might be grand and the young man may be flattered by your intentions and you might find out that if you invite him over for some tea and cake, he is likely to say yes and you can serve all the nice foods your daughter likes and will tolerate in the union you are forecasting but until then, he is minding his own business and he will play golf and put balls in holes where and when such golf courses make themselves available with the intention of a life-long membership at that well and able and willing golf course with field dimensions of 34, 22, 39. That sounds healthy! Even if you are West Indian, this little parable may have some relevance. In fact, you may see that he thinks your daughter is quite unique, beautiful, and /or symmetrical in her features but you can't marry a "picture". Remember; God makes all things beautiful. He already met a crazy girl with symmetrical features (see Proverbs 11:22 if it persists and make two prayers in the morning while you run away as fast as you can) who could not wait two minutes at a train station and if you can't wait two minutes, how can you be married for 30-60 years? Work out the math and read Charles Stanley's sermon on forgiving quickly. That is how you stay together especially if its a horrible nonsense and if you can't wait then go home. A lot of people wait two minutes for their husbands; even the retired ones who only go to the library and the odd toastmaster's meetings and the gym to work out. With all of this, know that monkies cannot dance and they cannot remark on the beauty of a sunset or flowers in a well manicured garden or comment on the use of garlic in an excellent recipe that has its origins in the multi-facted culture of Provence. That is why we are reminded that everything that has breath or tongue so to do, should praise the Lord. Read Psalms 50. Sorry; that was monkeys.
In making the decision to give thanks, you cannot act like a metronome; your mind going back and forth and constantly in two places. How long can you halt between two opinions; innit? Either you want what God gave you or you don't. If you don't then be thankful for what you have chosen in the end or what you have. You never left to receive anything else and don't blame anybody about your attitudes and what you think because you chose what was readily accessible in the instance time and time again and that's okay because you usually have to remove barb wire before you can grow a crop on any desired land if it is even fertile. Ok?; so there you have it. You created your answer and you wanted to know that you had issues. It is because you have not forgiven yourself for not sincerely forgiving and your father sees right through you.
Here; watch this now. It's called Metronomy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoTwieqNyEA
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