My Man

My man(as written from the account of a young, repentant woman learning to be thankful for the man and not his suit or vehicle which can easily be changed-suits and vehicles do not kiss you or choose to bridle their tongue with wisdom or refuse to lay their hand on your mop to wipe up the dog's urine on the bathroom floor; everyday!-why so dirty?), no matter how much I call him mine, is some body's son. He is also God's child.  My man, no matter how good he treats me, it does not say anywhere that he is mine to abuse or mistreat.  My man is not mine like a replaceable, disposable mass produced, identical G.I.Joe.  My man, if they all looked the same, would not interest me really if he sat home all day with ME and didn't thrive and push in something, some endeavor, save somebody's life, encourage, pray and believe, work hard 9-5 pm in something somewhere or just work.   That work is 24 hours in one day or 40 hours in three days as he is my man and I need to trust him when he is not with me in body and the flesh, to trust that his heart is still with me. He's my man no matter what I have been told about men being all dogs or all the same.  No matter how much I've learned from our ancestors about men philandering, it does not mean I need to turn my man into a philanderer in my imagination only with my continual doubts, fears and suggestions of it when he is not.  Its just I was told all men cheat, so I decided to follow the culture that believes this lie.  I followed it soo much that I cheated myself and I was assured fallaciously by other followers that I can rest assured that he cheats anyway, whether I can actually see it or know it regardless of what he says.  "My man cheats...!" as I was told by all the old ladies since I had ears to hear those bitter experiences at the age of 4 and my man, I knew I love him when I saw him. I love him when he was just my friend. I loved him when my man was not my man and I was with the man who was being abused by me as my real man and who was not just my man as my friend was.  Then my man who was my friend became my man and my real man who  I was taught to abuse to keep him in check but he never stopped being my friend.  I fell into a pattern of doubt and negative expectation about him and now I know it is because my mind and heart was taught to bring what could have been a happy time with my man to a place of my own negative reality, demeaning him, doubting his faithfulness, being ill when he was successful and wanting to throw up, calling him a bitch to test his manhood in comparison to my own manhood and all because I choose not to let go of my struggle with trust and to have faith that he is truly my man. So, the question is who am I? I  am my man.  While your parents and other older family members may be responsible for how you were nurtured in your formative years, your husband or man is not.  All he can do is treat you in the best way possible if you let him.  Your role is to  heal with God's help if there were any misgivings in the upbringing because there was no "perfect" household nor is there a "perfect" household.  You can also take responsibility for your memories, reactions and deep-seated expectations (the expectations that you also seem to create with constant unnecessary dissensions for which you apologise) and if you are not ready for that deep meaningful friendship/marriage relationship with one person, then be honest.  A man, you were taught, was to be "read emotionally" maybe out of some fear as that was the experience of the household in which you were raised. He is sort of an impersonal entity and your reactions make any man just a passive actor in the plot you continually create no matter how sincere he may be. It's you. He is no more than a "football" in your play and it seems so true with all that you say because the whole entire community in which you were raised had similar encounters with a father quite similar to yours; hence the collective pain but maybe you did meet a man who knows your experience and he decided early to look to the right and away from a certain pattern as many psychologists will tell you, as on Donahue or the Mr. More Safer show that if you do not forgive, you will walk in the same behavioural patterns. Your man just went to find a wife that was at least honest about her need to heal with Christ as her source, first and  foremost, because if Christ was a battery he never runs out. He is eternally ready to supply all of your emotional needs according to His riches in glory and his wife, after that, needed a good friend which he certainly is for coffee and tv.  Are his shoe laces untied as they might be after four hours of work? Then, tell him or you can just call your ex.  Mon Dieu. He is very strong as a good friend. Mon Dieu.  The end.Now if you can't have one man, that's okay because some men don't mind being used and using like a set of old bras and tops from the Good Will or Sally Ann's( Salvation Army).  You can always get another one tomorrow.  Also, there are some descendants of Yassidic Jews in the West Indies called Rastafarians who swear by the virtues of the scriptures. Some smoke Hay and some smoke weed. But, certainly most of them believe in the virtue of being fruitful and multiplying with as many women as possible.  There is only one man in history who received that command just after the many animals he was called to steward
 received the same direct command to multiply andbe fruitful.  In being fruitful, Adam received one wife for that purpose as did Cain and Seth and Noah.  This is also true of most of the animals; one spouse or partner like the whales. Whales stay together forever.  Abraham had one wife as well to be fruitful and multiply but was rushed into evading the patient fruition of God's promise by his wife. That seed of impatience has produced many time saving devices like microwave ovens and Campbell's Cup of soup; just add water. Its just that between David and Abraham, they are both honoured as prophets and also as Kings but also both were obedient along side their imperfection for which they were truly sorrowful and sincere in repentance.  Now, why is it that the bible says Solomon died with his heart seperate from God and Abraham and David did not yet Solomon is known as the wisest? Was it that  He was the wisest but also the most stubborn when God warned him more than once about having too many women? One too many is just one too many. When you are a father one day or a dentist you will know when your child or patient has had one candy too many and there is a uh uhm uh cavity. You will also know when your child comes back home with type 2 diabetes and you will remember, along with your child, how you told him that you think on that day he had one shake too many; get it?  The thing is that Cain and Solomon all came from good groups and families and they really believed what they believed for good.  It's just that at the end of the day, you can get lots of temporal approval for being a part of the right family. Ted kennedy knows but you are not going to get eternal approval from God just for being identifed by on-lookers in your city as being part of a family or group even if your name is Maadoff or Kardashian. God has no grandchildren and everybody must believe for themselves that He exists ( Hebrews 11:6) and trust and believe (John 1: 12-13). There is a simple formula. People who love cake recipes and only buy cookbooks should find this simple. Read this: at the end of the day, its called "FootPrints."  Read that poem or read Romans 8.    


Written by Warren A.Lyon
http://www.londiniumtvchannel.blogspot.com/