Rejectionism for some Tide Cold Water. Just go and shop on your own.

The Palestinians have followed a pattern of rejectionism over the centuries when it comes to Israel.  This is mentioned in news reports and documentaries. Ironically, a pattern of rejectionism was noticed socially in homes and communities in North America and elsewhere where the wife was raised by a single mother; a generational tendency of some kind. The message to the husband is that nothing will be good enough or acceptable unless it is touched, bought or some how under the mother’s influence. You may buy the best dishes from the most exquisite department store but she will not accept them. She will tell you to return them and three weeks later, she will buy the same dishes from another department store at the same price. It has nothing to do with her reward points either. So, what is the terrible issue? The issue is the experience of rejection and the fear of it and an environment that must be within her control or else, there is a sense of personal diminishment and reminder of a terrible experience of being left. In some homes, they might just say “thank you” for the dishes. It has nothing to do with building a nest or some other pattern of emoting. This pattern of rejectionism is seen in some communities over several generations when the father had to leave and work over seas or the mother of a certain child was truly the family’s baby sitter and caregiver for that particular family’s children born to the wife of the home. It is the experience of Hagar and Ishmael over and over again; Hagar and Ishmael.  What does a man do when every young woman in his hometown will tell him to take that $100.00( $39.99 on sale at www.amazon.com-$29.99 at auction on www.ebay.com) stainless steel glamorous set of pots and return it? He will tell his son in such a home to do whatever she says since every other woman in the hometown is the same way and he knows from experience because he was hoping for a June Cleaver(regardless of race ) who might have just said “thank you”. The message to the daughters is that the male is not to have any authority in such issues and certainly there will be moments when her decisions are correct quantifiably. There are other instances when it should hardly matter. It is just soap or the very same plates that the husband said he hated this time. She bought them just for that reason. He loved them actually.    You may tell a child raised in a single family home to forgive and buy the father a good gift but the mother should also call the father and advise the father that a child has arrived.  The mother may have chosen to keep the child a secret in fear of a loss of control. Forgive that experience and its origins.